Chapter 13: Cyber-Romance Leads to Cross-Cultural Marriage

PHILADELPHIA, PA, USA. Until recently, Figen Gencosmanoglu, 36, was living in Trabzon, a small town in Turkey. Dan Haigh, 43 was in Philadelphia. Both were in the same boat--divorced and lonely. They met on the Internet and started e-mailing each other. Figen told Dan all her secrets. "He was so far away, he seemed unreal," she says. "It was like talking to an advice column, but I knew we had a lot in common." Dan was soon e-mailing Figen three times a day--morning, noon and night. Before long, he wrote, "I'm coming to Turkey." He hadn't even seen a picture of her!

Meanwhile, Figen got a photo of Dan in the mail. It took ages for her to open the envelope. She put her heart and repeated, "Oh God, please God." She was already madly in love with him and didn't want to be disappointed by the photo. She was not.

A month later, Dan made the long, expensive trip to Trabzon, his first trip outside the US. He was nervous about the meeting. On the plane, his mother's words echoed in his head. "What are you doing? Are you nuts?" In Turkey, Figen was on the edge too." Aren't there any American women for him?" her parents had said. But when Figen and Dan set eyes on each other, they knew it was the real thing.

Dan researched Turkish marriage customs, and several months later went back to Turkey with his parents and formally asked for Figen's hand. When you meet on the Internet, you begin as friends. You can really listen to the other person. You have time to think about their words and to read between the lines," says Figen, now living with Dan near Philadelphia.

Idioms and Expressions

• be in the same boat (as someone) --- be in the same situation, with the same problems

• have a lot in common (with someone) --- be similar in many ways (to someone)

• before long --- in a short time; soon

• take ages --- take a long time

• be disappointed by someone or something --- feel that your hopes were not met by someone or something

• make a trip --- travel someplace

• be nervous about something --- feel afraid and a little excited about something

• be nuts --- be crazy; insane

• be on the edge --- be nervous

• set eyes on someone or something --- see someone or something for the first time

• be the real thing --- be genuine and authentic

• ask for someone's hand --- ask for permission to mary someone

• read between the lines --- guess at something that soemthing that has not been stated directly

Answer The Questions

About The Story

1. Why were Figen and Dan in the same boat?
2. What did Figen realize soon after she and Dan met on the internet?
3. Why did it take ages for her to look at Dan's photo?
4. When Dan made the trip to Trabzon, how did he feel? Why?
5. How did Figen feel just before he arrived?
6. What happened when they set eyes on each other?
7. Why did Dan go back to Turkey later with his parents?
8. Why does Figen feel that dating on the internet is a good thing?

About You:

1. Have you met interesting people on the Internet?

2. Do you have friends who are in the same boat as Figen and Dan were? Do you have any advice for them?

3. How do you know when love is the real thing?

4. Tell about a trip you made recently. Were you pleased or disappointed by the trip? Tell why.

5. What are you often nervous about?Why?